A Wedding in 2 Months.
This is my first ever personal blog, and it’s about my Wedding. You may think because I work for a Wedding Channel I’d have had my wedding planned for years, but I can quite honestly say I haven’t. I think it’s a bit like working in a chocolate factory, you overdose so much on chocolate, you don’t really have the time or stomach to think what you’re ideal and last ever chocolate bar you’d ever eat would be like. There’s so much choice, and you can’t remember or see what reflects you, without honestly saying you’re not bowing to influence or pressure.
A very rare photo of the two of us (more about that in a future blog)
On Christmas Day, my boyfriend of 5 years was acting strange. I had put it down to the Christmas Eve drink, perhaps he had a hang over, but he never gets hangovers. He was quiet, his heart was racing, and he interrupted my cooking of a chocolate cake to tell me how much he loved me – I’m not one who should be stopped cooking, he knows this, I panic – he started rambling, then all flustered he said “I don’t know how to do this, can you sit down”…. I sat, gob-smacked as he pulled a ring box from the side of the sofa and proposed… what happened next is a bit unclear, we were both crying, hugging, laughing & screaming. What I do know is that by 11am on Christmas day my chocolate covered hands, were adorned with a beautiful engagement ring, and I was the happiest girl in the world.
He must have liked it, because he put a ring on it!
This was a fantastic way to end what had been an awful past few months of 2011. In November my dad had been told he had Pleomorphic Sarcoma, which is such a rare form of cancer they don’t know much about it. The outlook was bleak, he was told he’d either have to have his leg amputated, or if it had spread to his chest he would have less than 12 months to live. Now I don’t want tell you everything my dad, or family went through at this point, it’s their personal story, and I can only tell you how it affected me, I was devastated.
My dad is the absolute world to me, he’s the one person I can call in any situation for advice, and he always answers the phone with “Hello Sweetheart” even when he’s on a rugby tour, or out with friends or in a meeting. He is funny, kind, courageous, cool, strong, and has been my constant inspiration to be a better person, instilling me with confidence, a sense of what is right, and gives the greatest ‘it’s going to be ok’ hugs. I love him not only as a father, but as a friend.
Like Father, like Daughter…. Our Thinking Pose.
By Christmas, he had been told his chest was clear, he wouldn’t need his leg amputated, but he did have to go through some serious surgery on his leg to take out the remaining cancer cells. So Christmas was a celebration, his leg was healing and within a month he’d be starting Radiation on his leg to clear it up. So come January we started to talk about the wedding, we visited a couple of Venues, but nothing was set in stone, Andy and I were moving and as we thought we had plenty of time we didn’t worry to much.
However, by the end of January my dad’s condition was worsening, and by February he’d lost 2 stone, he was suffering from incredible pains to his chest, and had severe headaches. We then discovered that there was a growth in his chest, and it was causing so much pressure on his aorta that it could have burst at any time, meaning instant death, so he was sent back to hospital to have a stent put in to take away this weakness, and have a biopsy on the tumour. His specialist admitted that there had been signs of this growth back in November, but they hadn’t seen it as it was in an unusual place. This led them to believe it might be a different cancer, if it was then perhaps it could be treated, if not then the prognosis was back to square one, he could have just 12 months, perhaps less.
Unfortunately, the day after my dad came out of hospital, he was rushed back in with other complications, and it was then we found out the tumour was Pleomorphic Sarcoma, he would start radiation very soon, and as the Doctor put it we would have to “Plan for the worst and hope for the best”.
Most girls, I’d imagine, dream of their dad’s walking them down the isle. For me it’s not just for the symbol of “giving the bride away” but also for making my dad proud of me. It’s something I’ve teased him with since being a little girl, “Dad, if don’t let me do (x), I won’t let you walk me down the isle when I get married” – yes, I was a little madam, but I also knew how important it was to him, to both of us.
My dad, mum & very cute Neice, Isabelle, who will be a Bridesmaid.
So we’ve discussed the Wedding, and in better times we were going to go ahead with it, but when things got bleaker at the start of last week, and my dad was feeling the effects of cancer encroaching on his body, he asked us to not go ahead. He was happy that I had found my soul-mate, and that Andy would take care of me, and he didn’t need to see me Married to know I’d be happy. I agreed, as I didn’t want to put my dad through the pain of a long day, for purely selfish reasons, though at the bottom of my heart I ached and cried knowing that the only thing I truly knew I wanted for my Wedding - to have my Dad walk me down the isle - wasn’t going to happen.
That was until Sunday, when after a week of radiation, and for the work of his most wonderful GP, my dad’s pain had alleviated. He feels stronger, has started to gain weight, and has the old blue sparkle back in his eyes. He asked if we wanted to, and if we could arrange the Wedding for the Middle of May, as he felt he’d be able to cope. “Of Course” we can I said! And of course we want to!
So now I’ve 2 months to plan a wedding. So I thought I’d blog about it, as it’s something good to focus on for me, but also because it’s not going to be about throwing the most individual wedding in the world, the most vintage, or the most stylistic, it’s about finding out what’s important, and what’s possible in 2 months.
Luckily, I know there’s a fantastic Wedding community out there, full of tips & ideas and I see being on Twitter as having lots of honourary Bridesmaids & Groomsmen giving advice and ideas – So I’ll be gathering the top tips and putting them on here too.
2 Months to go… starting now.